Andy got into cycling, and writing about it late in life and as a result has a wealth of pop culture references to tangentially weave into word soups, along with a host of dad jokes and non-sequiturs. Firing this seemingly endless lava stream of semi-consciousness is a passion for all things cycling that is far in excess of his ability to actually do it.
Too old and slow to be a decent road rider, too clumsy and cowardly to be a competent mountain biker, Andy instead puts all of his pedaling eggs in the basket of solitary gravel riding - where epic adventures involve lifting his bike over a stile without putting his back out and getting home without crashing into a holly bush.
Having tried all cycling frame materials except wood, his stable of mediocrity has been now forged out of the material he feels he cannot (yet) break - all steel, all single chainring, and all over-engineered. Pride of the harras is Dusty, the All-City Space Horse - a gravel monster and winter commuter kitted out with all the toys that won't be going to his kids when he dies. For winter gravel and trail park crashes, Lord Percy, the Surly Karate Monkey takes care of any woodland frolics, and Ron Burgundy, a Genesis Volare gets rolled out when (relative) speed is of the essence.
He used to do running, but having completed a couple of half marathons he's decided he likes the way his knees bend and a casual jog is all they'll tolerate now.
Famously failed to do the Etape even before the big climbs started, Andy nonetheless still takes on ludicrous challenges on two wheels and then instantly regrets them. Would like to build (and presumably, break) his own bamboo bike one day.
Once described by his editor as the 'Marina Hyde of cycling clobber reviews', but this may've been the result of a concussion.
2022-07-05 17:26:46 - David Lean's 1962 cinematic masterpiece, Lawrence of Arabia, brought international film stardom to Peter O'Toole. Even I'm too young to have seen it when it was...
2022-06-20 12:16:29 - They say that most car journeys in big towns are less than five miles, which is an ideal commute, even for people with a relaxed attitude to cycling. Any old clunker...
2022-05-25 13:30:54 - Back when I got into cycling in a big way, I was totally on board with the whole 'horses for courses' thing - road bike for the road, MTB for off-road, right kind of...
2022-05-03 10:31:27 - I have real estate issues. I'm not alone - lots of adventure cyclists have to make the best use of their handlebar space, whether it be for luggage or gadgets, and the...
2022-04-20 11:11:12 - I've always liked Quoc's Gran Tourer shoes, even before getting a pink bike. My experience with the brand's original Night lace ups and the newer, lighter Mono shoe...
2021-12-22 11:42:30 - I can't think of anything worse than having my bike stolen - OK, full disclosure, I can think of a million things worse. I'm not going into that because this isn't that...
2021-10-12 10:39:44 - I've got terrible feet. The bone structure is all wrong, bits stick out all over the place and my circulation is awful. My wife has studied foot care and regards them...
2021-10-11 10:03:14 - There's a lot of waste in the world - come to think of it, there's a lot of waist in me (but that only works when you read it out loud). I'd like to think that society...
2021-07-26 10:58:01 - I've flown in an aeroplane. I've used a plane when hanging a door. I've eaten plain crisps and (unbelievably, you'd imagine) like a plain salad. I've done things that...
2021-07-17 08:22:19 - I got called a 'Hipster' the other day. Not because of the way I was dressed, not for the cut of my hair or face furniture, not for my glasses, not for my taste in...
2021-07-14 11:53:56 - My first car was a Mark 3 Cortina with a tiny 1.3 litre engine, knackered shocks and a vinyl roof that was more green than the intended black. It had leatherette seats,...
2021-06-21 16:08:31 - Around about the age of 27 I started needing glasses to improve my driving - and by improve I mean to stop me from colliding with things and making my passengers scream....
2021-06-11 10:59:12 - I have issues with homophones. Not a phobia or dislike, but quite the opposite. Many's a time I've misheard words on purpose for comic effect. I still chuckle to myself...
2021-05-10 09:30:23 - I started commuting to work at the worst possible time of the year. The nights were drawing in, the mornings were getting colder and the wind and rain promised an...
2021-05-03 17:14:06 - There's an opening sequence in one of my favourite all-time sitcoms, very Bergmanesque, where the Grim Reaper is playing chess with a mortal. The mortal moves a piece...
2020-12-01 13:10:48 - Steel bikes - what's that all about? I had one 45 years ago and it wasn't all that much fun. It was my first actual proper bike - a Raleigh 20 Shopper with a hinge in...
2020-11-23 14:23:02 - Giant are the biggest bicycle manufacturer in the world, and it's an open secret that they manufacture frames and parts for other big manufacturers. Until 2019 it seemed...
2020-10-05 23:18:16 - There's an urban myth that you can fit the entire population of the Earth on the Isle of Wight. Even allowing for the lack of social distancing, this is quite an ask....
2020-07-01 12:36:59 - When I was asked to look at the cycling navigation app Komoot, I thought "What's the point?" I already had Strava, with over ten years of rides, friends, achievements,...
2020-05-12 12:19:10 - You must be aware by now, but just in case you aren't and you've stumbled over this review by mistake, I love my gravel riding and I love tubeless tyres. All the bikes I...