My heart sank. I had forgotten my cycling jersey. I was sat in the car park of the Three Counties Showground, Malvern with not quite all of the gear, and no idea what to do. I had packed everything meticulously the night before apart from my jersey, which I left on the hanger and forgot to grab in the bleary eyed light of the morning.

The Showground was the start for the Malvern Mad-Hatter on Saturday 30 August, part of the Cycling Weekly Sportive Series. There were stands selling bicycles, Continental tyres, a mobile newsagent, free SIS energy drinks, a burger bar and an ice cream van. But no jerseys.

I registered and regrouped. The weather was set fair so it just about justified my windproof jacket, which I donned over a T-shirt. The big problem was no pockets. Gels were stuffed up my bib shorts, giving the impression of "thunder thighs", and my phone was left in the car.

Standard scenes at the inflatable starting pen.
Standard scenes at the inflatable starting pen.

UK Cycling Events were organisers for the sportive, part of their burgeoning portfolio. There were three courses - Epic (103 miles, 6958 feet of climbing), Standard (72 miles, 4337 feet) and Short (43 miles, 2985 feet). The cost was £35, or £25 for the short course. The route took riders through three counties: Worcestershire, Herefordshire and Gloucestershire.

I chose the Epic route, although all three options followed an identical course for the first forty miles. The roll out was a fairly level leg stretcher for 20 miles. Scenery was countryside and villages all the way. The first feed station was at 25 miles and then the first big climb of the day came around 35 miles up the Malvern Ridgeway. According to the Cycling Weekly website this was a "3km climb averaging 5% gradient but with a final 500 metres over 10% at times". Teeth gritted I made it up in my lowest gear.

Fair play  but by their age Quintana had won the Tour de France.
Fair play but by their age Quintana had won the Tour de France.

Along the top of the ridgeway were some great views but then, down a country lane, we met the gritting team. The opposite side of the road was being freshly tarmacked and rolled and a truck of grit was all over our side. Cars were backed up both ways. Most of us dismounted and carried our bikes around the gritting crew. Remounting we then came across a half-mile section of fairly freshly gritted road that was maybe a couple of days old and ever so slightly uphill. Not great, but it was safely traversed.

I found out later that when UK Cycling Events found out about the gritting they diverted later participants away from both the climb and the fresh tarmac. This resulted in riders arriving at a junction from two different directions and exchanging puzzled looks. The short course turned for home shortly afterwards.

The course had its ups and downs.
The course had its ups and downs.

Feed station two was about halfway for Epic riders at 52 miles. It was in the small car park of Dymock church hall on a side road in the village. The road was quite narrow although relatively quiet at this point, although the odd car struggled through the sheer volume of bicycles. Food was the usual flapjacks, bananas, jelly beans, fig rolls, jaffa cakes and Oreos. Unlike other events I have participated in this year, the energy gels from SIS seemed to be in unlimited supply. Perhaps, with the sportive season coming to a close, they are being a little more free and easy with remaining stocks.

The problem with hills is the best view is always behind you.
The problem with hills is the best view is always behind you.

Standard riders headed for home after the feed station but those on the Epic set out on an extra 30 mile loop. The shark's tooth profile made it a true test and at 60 miles there was another big climb, advertised on the road sign as 10% for one and a quarter miles. Already on the climb were three tractors and trailers each hauling 24 massive round hay bales with a line of cars trailing behind them. There was a danger of the cyclists being faster than the motor vehicles, and some riders stopped to let the parade past. I kept going at the back at the same pace as the tractors and made it to the top. Coming later in the ride it felt much harder than the climb up the Malvern Ridgeway.

The loop returned back to Dymock for a final visit to the feed station at 82 miles. The last 20 odd miles were a mainly flat and fast spin back to the Showground. On arrival there was a medal and goody bag containing pistachio nuts, a copy of Cycling Weekly, snood, drink sachet and a pouch.

This was a popular event, and credit to UK Cycling Events for making alterations on the hoof to account for the unexpected gritting team. It just goes to show, sometimes you have to adapt to unexpected circumstances. But next time, the jersey will be first thing in my kit bag.

Hunter-gatherer. The family will eat well tonight.
Hunter-gatherer. The family will eat well tonight.

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