Like many of you, I participate in a Saturday morning bike ride with a group of like-minded, lycra-clad individuals. Our initial chain gang started out life many, many years ago as a nice steady 25 to 30-mile ride to the café. Perhaps with a comedic downhill race with the obligatory cheating and chastising of the 'fat lads', and occasionally with a lackadaisical sprint for the 30mph sign into Barnard Castle.

As a man of science and a great believer in Darwinian Theorem I can confirm the steady evolution of our group from knuckle-dragging monkeys on bikes to slender racing snakes. Our original social ride has now developed into a two-stage race taking in 62 miles and hundreds of feet of climbing. We do not meet to ride on Saturday, we meet to race and beat each other up using weapons of carbon fibre. To ensure one has a fighting chance to stay with the group and not get dropped all manner of kit is required to maintain not only good style but good standing: minimal gains chaps, minimal gains.

If you ride a Colnago or Pinarello you cannot turn up in dhb or Aldi bib shorts, and if you want any advantage you must invest in quality kit. For most this means a credit card or a second mortgage to afford the likes of Rapha, Castelli or Assos. The advantage of this kit is that it was designed for racers by clever computer types in wind tunnels and the like, and then scaled up in size for normal shaped people to buy. The old adages of 'you buy cheap, you buy twice!' or 'you pay for the quality' are synonymous with cycling; but do they have to be? In this madcap consumerist minefield of merino and lycra, surely it is possible to purchase a reasonably priced cycling jersey that can go head to head with the big boys and hold their wheel?

The Bodyline series is available in eight different designs  including a Flanders-inspired jersey and one that looks suspiciously like the Cannondale team kit...
The Bodyline series is available in eight different designs including a Flanders-inspired jersey and one that looks suspiciously like the Cannondale team kit...
Step up Stolen Goat, and more specifically, the Café Racer Bodyline Jersey in red. Stolen Goat was formed in 2012 and has the mission statement of 'bringing everyday cyclists a bespoke collection of awesome cycling products.' It was founded by Tim Bland, a self-confessed cycling nut, and the whole company is a distinctly family affair. The explanation of why it was christened Stolen Goat is particularly excellent, but I won't spoil it and let you find the tale.

The Bodyline series is Stolen Goat's first venture into producing their own kit, with the range currently comprising eight different jerseys in a range of colours and designs. The jerseys are made in Belgium by the same factory that produces the Belgian national team kit and using the same methods and materials. The result, they claim, is a top-quality product that would usually cost considerably more, but by cutting out the middle man Stolen Goat are able to pass on the savings to us the customers.

All sounds good, but how does that translate in real life? On initial inspection the Café Racer certainly packs all the design features of a top spec Rapha jersey. Clean lines, a sparing colour palette and minimalist design offer a no-nonsense look that will struggle to fall out of fashion no matter what era. At £60 the jersey is priced well under its rivals at Rapha (£140), Castelli (£80) and Assos (£90 plus). So it wins on cost, but remember what we have been taught: cheap doesn't always equal quality.

No flapping about

Happily, after an early test ride the quality of the Bodyline jersey is - so far - beyond reproach. There are three specific factors that I really like about the jersey, and the first and by far the most important is the fit. The fit is excellent, and the best thing about it is the sleeves. Stolen Goat boast that the 'half-length aero sleeves, with a raw cut end...support your muscles, have zero flapping and simply stay put all day long without being restrictive or overly tight.'

This waterproof pocket is perfect for keeping your phone dry and safe.
This waterproof pocket is perfect for keeping your phone dry and safe.
I shall rephrase that for it is not a boast, it is a fact. They are the most comfortable sleeves I have ever had the pleasure to introduce to my meagre biceps. While some other jerseys that offer the 'raw cut', unhemmed sleeves use non-slip silicone grippers that can mark and dig into the skin, the Bodyline relies instead on a perfect cut that once on does not move or 'flap', unlike the rider wearing it.

Waterproof pie pocket

The second standout feature is the cheeky little zip pocket sewn onto the outside of the right hand jersey pocket. Why have three pockets, when with some lateral thinking you can have a specifically sized, waterproof place to hide your precious smart phone? Clever. This additional pocket does not diminish the size or capacity of the other pocket and can be used to store your normal gels, cakes or meat pies depending on your geographical location. Did I mention it was waterproof? It's waterproof.

Speaking of pies, the jersey features a full-length YKK zipper down the front; this allows for adjustable ventilation while on the move, or even a little more breathing space if that café stop turns into a long lunch followed by a cheese board, port and a cigar (you may as well celebrate that KOM in style).

Size matters

The third thing, and this is very much a personal highlight, is the sizing. 'He's already mentioned the sizing and fit!' I hear some of you cry; well, yes I have. What I mean is the descriptive label and precise appellation of the sizing provided by Stolen Goat: S, M, L, etc.

The full-length YKK zipper is covered at the neckline to prevent chaffing against your skin - another little detail designed to boost comfort and performance.
The full-length YKK zipper is covered at the neckline to prevent chaffing against your skin - another little detail designed to boost comfort and performance.
I am 6ft 2in tall and hover around 88kg. I am in no way a mountain goat, I'm more of a rouleur-sized diesel engine akin to an Ian Stannard or Gert Steegmans. When I look to buy cycling kit, sizing is a complete minefield. If I want to purchase the latest French or Italian kit I must carefully inspect the sizing guide, matching my chest measurement up to their charts - only to find after I receive my order that it's still too tight!

I can be anything from L to XXL depending on manufacturer, and this causes me no end of annoyance, postage and cost in reordering. I am a large fella and I therefore require large clothing, not extra large and certainly not extra extra large. After some dithering I opted for the large size Café Racer jersey, and am pleased to report that the fit was perfect. So thanks to Stolen Goat for steadying the ship in this stormy sea of sizeism!

In short then, if you want an aero styled jersey featuring classic colour and design with enough features to bore even the most tech-minded cyclist, you can't go far wrong with the Cafe Racer jersey. You can sleep safe in the knowledge that Stolen Goat have your best interests at heart. Whether it is innovative design, subtle branding or direct-to-customer saving you will not be disappointed - and it may even shatter our preconceived rules about cost and quality.

Café Racer Jersey, £60 from www.stolengoat.com

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