Like the rest of the nation, you probably thrilled to the exploits of Jason Kenny in Rio this summer. But did you know that as Jason stands on the podium he's secretly wishing he was a policeman? Or that the most played track on his iPod is a Blink 182 song? And which family member warned him "Don't bother coming home with any scrap metal, only gold"?
That's the sort of fact we make it our business to know here in the Sportive.com bunker, where our celebrations at JFK's triumph (the F is for Francis) were tempered with cold-eyed scrutiny as we appraised the chunky-thighed Boltonian not just as the distant demigod he is, but as an imminent rival.
That's because, come 10 September, Kenny will be lining up at Brands Hatch to take part in Revolve24 - and Sportive.com are sending a team to take him on...
Revolve24
Now in its second year, Revolve24 takes a unique format: a round-the-clock race open to solo cyclists and relay teams of up to eight members, all battling it out to ride the furthest distance in 24 hours.
The event takes place on motor race circuits around the world, with the UK edition based at "Britain's best loved race circuit", Brands Hatch on the weekend of 10-11 September.
We've compiled a crack squad of weekend warriors to take on the challenge. Jason has kindly produced a short film with some tips for riders, but freshly minted Olympians are just the start of our worries: alongside Kenny we'll be racing over 180 competitors, among them last year's winner of the Transcontinental Race Josh Ibbett, a motley crew from Road.cc, and "Duracell bunny on a bike" Jasmijn Muller to name just a few.
It's all in a good cause: we'll be riding to raise awareness and funds for the charity Breast Cancer Care, and then of course there's the glory. There are all sorts of prizes available, from overall distance ridden in each category to fastest night lap. We only hope we'll have room in the car for all of these alongside the BBQ, crates of beer, air mattress, cakes...
Meet the Sportive.com team
We know everything about Jason, so it's only fair he should have a little information about the Sportive.com team as well. Here's the inside track on the Magnificent Eight...
James A: Financial journalist by day (and night), James is having a "rest year" after riding Haute Route in 2015. Having logged a solid 12km on Strava for the year to date, James' confidence is slowly being chipped away each time a hybrid overtakes him on his commute. He's already beaten Laura Trott in a race (well, RideLondon) so this is his chance to seal an historic double over the Trott/Kenny household. Kenny rating: 7/10
Alistair: Signed to the team on the basis that he owns a 4 x 22W mains adapter, Alistair also promises to boost the team's online profile. "What I lack in cycling prowess I can make up for in photographic equipment and social media coverage!" he vows. Currently trying to figure out how to download the Revolve24 app. Kenny rating: 7/10
Peregrine: The "secret squirrel" of the team, Pez has foregone conventional training in favour of shaving intricate aerofoil shapes in his leg hair and wrapping his helmet in clingfilm. Only a matter of time before he's headhunted by British Cycling, but until then he brings an invaluable 0.0034 watt advantage to the team. Kenny rating 9/10
Laura: Regular reporter Laura brings Italian flair to the Sportive.com squad, not to mention 5000km of training in 2016. Her only weakness is a requirement for 14 hours sleep a day, meaning Dan and Alistair will be working an espresso rota to keep her caffeinated though the night. Kenny rating: 8/10
Joe: Sportive publisher Joe takes the Oleg Tinkov role on the team (minus the inflammatory tweets). A season beset by injury does not bode well, but as Joe says: "Beware the wounded tiger". He is determined to complete at least one lap, even if Oisin has to give him a backie. Kenny rating: 6/10
James D: Employed in a hush-hush role at Yahoo Sport, James makes a strong case for team leader going into Revolve24: "Triathlete and cyclist, I have ridden London to Paris in 18 hours, full Paris Roubaix route and a triple ascent of Ventoux in recent years, plus the Wales Ironman event. Rouleur at best, lanterne rouge at worst." Unfortunately a "busted arm" (medical term) means his Revolve24 training consists of "pottering around Center Parcs". Well it worked for Wiggo... Kenny rating: 8/10
Dan: After wowing the selectors with his application form - "Proficient in trackstands and crashing" - Dan's stock has continued to rise with the revelation that he owns a two-man tent. Currently holding auditions for the spare space in said tent. Kenny rating: 9/10
Oisin: Playing Waylon Smithers to Joe's Mr Burns, new father Oisin has been training for Revolve24 by not sleeping for 15 months. Plans to earn his place on the team by manning the coffee pumps, cutting slices of cake into "fast shapes" and motivational snoring. Kenny rating: 5/10
Join us
If you fancy taking part in Revolve24 for yourself, there are still places available. You don't need to ride all night - there are 6- and 12-hour events on offer, as well as an omnium. You don't even need to have a team, the organisers will pair you up with other riders for what is set to be an action-packed night of action on the track.
Where else will you get the chance to race against a would-be policeman turned Olympic hero?
For more info and to sign up, vist www.revolve24.com.
More Jason Kenny trivia
Jason Kenny rode Revolve24 last year as well. Here's what he had to say in response to some probing questions from the organisers...
Revolve24: What's been your biggest achievement in your career so far?
- JK: Three Olympic gold medals.
Aston Martin or Maserati?
- JK: Neither, I live in Cheshire so both are as common as muck around here!
Coffee or Tea?
- JK: Coffee out and about and tea at home.
Jaffa Cakes or Jelly Babies?
- JK: Jelly Babies.
Up at dawn or night owl?
- JK: Can't decide, I work best in the morning I think but left to my own devices I'll stay up all night and sleep all day!
How do you set your goals? Both long-term and short?
- JK: In my head and don't tell anyone... Always been the same, sometimes annoys my coaches.
What is your biggest challenge, and what do you do to manage this challenge?
- JK: Discipline to commit to every session. Just imagine if somebody asked you and you had to answer honestly...did you do everything you could?
What was the best advice you were ever given? Who gave it to you?
- JK: Don't bother coming home with any scrap metal, only gold. My Grandad.
Do you have a saying or motto that you live your life by?
- JK: Nope...but I do say 'not to worry' a lot.
If not cycling, then what?
- JK: Policeman.
What's on your iPod? What's the most played song?
- JK: All kinds of rubbish, probably a Blink 182 song.
Sir Chris, Sir Bradley and Jason Kenny. Who wins at poker?
- JK: They both have way too much money to play poker with me.
Jason Francis Kenny. Reason for middle name?
- JK: Named after mum's dad.
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