I make no secret of the fact I'm not the most svelte of cyclists. Compared to many of my peers I'm still considered a bit of an off-season Jan Ullrich, and that's during the summer. Winter time brings the twin complications of fewer salads to dodge and more inclement riding conditions. I go running to help keep my cycle clothing on the decent side of 'race fit', but that's not nearly as much fun as jogging through an all-you-can-eat Indian buffet.
It may surprise you to learn, however, that I love cycling up hills. Gravity is clearly not my friend, but this corpulent bulk I have is blessed with a mighty propulsion system that can get it up 25% climbs, albeit at a glacial pace, without hint of a footfall and scarcely a wobble (at least not from my handle bars).
The fuel for this obsession lies with one man and his passion for hills. Back in 2010, timed to coincide with my rediscovery of cycling, I swear, Simon Warren published his book 100 Greatest Cycling Climbs.
It was only after my first seriously hilly sportive in 2011 that I heard of this attempt at classification, the final climb being White Down. As a novice sportiviste, I wholeheartedly agreed with its 8/10 rating; I did the Walk of Shame (I was not alone that day) while others passed me like dandelions in a summer breeze, spouting out some of the worst language my tender ears had ever heard.
I dutifully went out and bought the book and started to tick off all of my local climbs. I began to understand the mind games involved in climbing hills, and knew that because I'd done a climb before that it was possible to do it on every subsequent revisit.
Soon came sequels, thankfully expanding my local boast portfolio. Sadly, the introduction of more climbs still kept my completion percentage around the same figure as the gradient that I was competent at climbing at (around 9%). Last year's DVD collection of the first 100 Climbs helped me visualise those a little less convenient to get to, but what the series really needed was some sort of handy, integrated guide.
Well, I've read the book - I've seen the film. I'm sure there must be a t-shirt I can buy... And now you can download the app.
Simon and his little wizards have been working on an iOS and Android version of 100 Climbs and now it's here. Kind of like Pokemon Go, but for grown ups who like to exercise, it's all you could want in an app. All the appeal and simplicity of the books is there, but now each climb has the added science and magic that comes with GPS smartphone and Strava integration.
On the flip side, my phone's welcome screen is now a sad reminder of my inadequacy, proudly shouting that I've completed just 9 out of 100 of the bastards. I can quickly skip that, though, and get straight into finding my next Hillzoid using either the listing feature or the handy map.
Climbs can by sorted by region, completion, rating or distance - it actually looks better on my feed that way, as I have to scroll down to get to White Down. Each climb then has its own fact file, where you can swipe left for more info like the Strava segment, photo and Simon's own description.
If, like me, you know the climbs all too well, there are also buttons to give you directions, linked into your phone's mapping app and a grid ref for the achingly nerdy amongst us. One minor frustration for iPhone users is that the directions feature only works with Apple Maps - meaning that, as Apple Maps still doesn't cater for cyclists, you'll have to choose between walking, driving, public transport or Uber directions to get to your hill. Hopefully future updates will allow you to select your preferred maps app in the settings.
The app really comes into its own when linked to Strava. Connection takes a matter of seconds, and once you've allowed Strava access you can list your efforts on each climb within the app (16'25" in 2011 for my first time up White Down, in case you're interested), or hop out into Strava and see it in all its gory detail, including how far down the list you are (16,539th).
I'm mightily impressed at how slick the app is - it's not lost any of the charm of the books, and will undoubtedly be upgraded with other climbs in the series, including the Hellingen and Tour de France versions. I'd really like to see a companion app to log other climbs, maybe to build your own list of favourites. But even in its current state the app will certainly be a boon for those travelling round wanting to complete the original 100 climbs.
Just as with hills, there's always a downside. Unlike the book, this app won't protect your kidneys if you run out of talent on a descent as I did down Chalkpit Lane near Oxted. I had my two 100 Climbs books with me, which Simon Warren kindly signed after I took part in an impromptu hill climb he organised with Cadence Performance back in 2013.
I ruined my jersey, broke two ribs and a carbon crank arm, but the tomes saved me from a nasty bit of gravel rash.
Is there an app for that?
100 Greatest Cycling Climbs, £5.99 from the Apple App Store and Google Play.
0 Comments